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  • Writer's pictureJulia Heck

But actually... What're you waiting for?!

Right now you're probably waiting for this COVID BS to move along... but thats not the point of this post.

 

When I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I moved back in with my mom. At the time, that was more than the right thing to do. I needed the comfort of my family and I needed to constantly be around people. But, it wasn't what I had planned for.


I loved my life in Jacksonville. I had (and still do have) great friends there, I had figured out my favorite places to spend time, I found my favorite restaurants and I had my fave nail lady and hair dresser! After three years, I had it figured out, which anyone who has moved to a new place knows how stressful it can be to find all those "favorite" things!

 

Since the second I moved away, I was excited for when I would be able to move back.


So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and have been asking myself, "what are you waiting for?" in regards to moving back to JAX and getting my "independent life" back.


Well I'm waiting for a lot of things...

  1. I'm waiting to be cancer free

  2. I'm waiting until I get surgery and that is behind me

  3. I'm waiting for the perfect apartment

  4. I'm waiting until I save enough money for the future

  5. I'm waiting until I get scans again

  6. I'm waiting until I'm done with active treatment

Wow... Six excuses... Silly excuses at that.

 

I'm waiting for all these things that may NOT come. Yes I'll say it:

  1. I might not ever be totally cancer free (even though I am holding out hope that I will be!).

  2. I might not get surgery for a few years. Or I might get it in a few months (no one knows).

  3. I can find the perfect apartment if I look hard enough. Hell, I've already found it lol.

  4. If I'm saving money, wtf is "enough" because I don't think that "enough" is ever enough?

  5. I'm FOREVER going to be getting scans soooo...

  6. I will also ALWAYS be on treatment and that treatment is offered all over the world.

 

So here I am making these excuses because in reality-I'm scared.


I'm nervous to move out and not have my mom right next to me all the time! As much as I loved living alone, I'm scared for the possibility of those trying nights when I start obsessing over my diagnosis and all the doctor notes on My Chart and question everything!


But where is all of this worrying getting me? If I am always waiting for the "perfect" time, it will never come.


Plenty of things in live are UNcontrollable. (Yeah, I hate that as much as you do!)

You can't control the weather. You can't control genetics. You can't control pandemics. You can't control other people. You can't control change.


But you can control how you respond.

 

So here I am, telling you that I will be moving back before October. And I'm also here to make you question, what are you waiting for?

  1. Why are you waiting to plan that trip?

  2. Why are you waiting to start that diet/exercise plan?

  3. Why are you waiting to live out your dreams?

  4. Why are you waiting to have that margarita? (oh right, you're working and it's only noon)

Lot's of us are waiting for the perfect time to do a lot of things, but one thing I've learned in the last two years is tomorrow is not promised.


We need to take advantage of the time we have now and reach toward achieving those things that we've been waiting for.


Cheers, y'all Happy Memorial Day Weekend!!

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