#winning

OMG LIFE IS SO GOOD!

When I first got diagnosed, I truly thought that my life was over. I was a "Stage 4 Cancer Patient"... of course my life was over. I'm so glad that I've been sharing my journey on here so that I can be reminded of how far I've come, but more-so, so that when others think that their life is "over", they can hear a story of someone who was in the same boat, but was really just getting started.

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As much as I'd like to say I share the highs and lows, I can admit that when I'm in a real low, my first thought isn't blogging or sharing my story with anyone. I've been in an odd slump prior to this. I felt "fine", but something was just off. I couldn't pinpoint it, but I was constantly worried about where my life was going to go from here. A big thought being, "great, my cancer is shrinking, but what's going to happen to the other parts of my life: the To Heck with Cancer 5K, my move, my ability to excel in my career, my relationships, the way I look, etc." It was hard to look ahead and think it was all going to be okay because, quite frankly, it wasn't freaking okay.

I still stress about what's to come, but in the past few weeks, I've realized that stressing these different things really doesn't help ANYTHING.

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My first step to trying to normalize my life was deciding that I was moving back to Jacksonville. I did this without knowing what the heck was happening with my cancer. I said, "you know what: screw it! Am I really going to live the rest of my life afraid to jump because I have cancer?!"... because in reality, I will always have to worry about the fact that I have cancer (even if I reach the ultimate cancer free goal)! I will always need scans, I will always be on meds, but the best part, I can get the drugs anywhere in the world.

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In June I made it official to move back to Jacksonville in the middle of August. Making the official decision to move seemed to kick off a bunch of great things happening!

1. My Non-Profit To Heck with Cancer is officially approved by the IRS as a 501(c)(3)--Call me CEO.

2. The To Heck with Cancer event will be held virtually (booo), but it's still happening despite COVID-19!--Yay! (You can sign up here!!!)

3. Work has been going really well and I've been able to continue working/excelling in my career even though I am completely remote (originally because of cancer, later because of COVID).

4. I've come to take care of myself (eating/exercising) more than I ever have

5. We'll save the best one for later...

Lot's of great things have happened, two of which wouldn't have even happened if I didn't get diagnosed.

While I still find myself sometimes sitting here and think about, "what cards will life hand me forever and will it be okay?" I do know that whatever is in the cards, it will be okay and I will be able to figure out how to best play my cards in order to make the most of life.

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Here's your reminder that life is REAL freaking fragile.

• Make sure you're making more time for your loved ones

• Don't forget to call people to let them know you're thinking of them

• Your work will in fact still be there tomorrow, 12 hour days aren't going to help you OR your company

• Strive toward your goals (and write them down)

• Take care of yourself & make your health a priority

  • STOP.MAKING.EXCUSES.

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In a weird way, I feel like I've been given a second chance at life... While I think I would've been JUST FINE without having to go through the last six months, I think that I now have an even greater appreciation for each day on earth and I notice the little/simple things a lot more than I did before.

I sat here constantly worrying about what's to come, but it really didn't make a difference what I was thinking about. Whatever was going to be, would be. And now I need to stop being a crazy person and stop trying to control everything in my life because...

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Not only did my last CT of my abdomen and MRI of my breast come back with smaller tumors than the ones from March, I just got a PET Scan that showed that my cancer is not active anymore!! The radiologist said, "this is one of the quietest PET Scans I've seen in a while". I can (but I also cannot) believe that this is all working!!

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Tomorrow, I'm officially switching my treatment plan to an oral regimen and will only be going to the cancer center every two weeks to get blood work, and eventually only once a month! This is huge news seeing as I'm done with IV Chemo!! ...for now and hopefully forever... if my hair wants to grow back a little quicker that'd be COOLIO.

All of your guys' prayers, good vibes, juju, and whatever else you're sending are working. This is absolutely incredible and I couldn't be more thankful for everyone's support!!

Again, I know this isn't over, but it's over for cancer, I'm not done kicking it's ass.

Cheers to ALL the good things that happen in life! Tough times don't stand a chance!